the hard facts and statistics....

We all know pornography is widespread throughout our community and is everywhere. But just how much is it out there exactly? Well here is some statistics that might shock you quite a bit.....

Pornographic websites - 4.2 million (12% of total websites)

Pornographic pages - 420 million

Daily requests for pornography through search engines - 68 million (25% of all requests)

Daily pornographic emails - 2.5 billion (8% total emails)

Internet users who view porn - 42.7%

Received unwanted exposure to material - 34%

Monthly pornographic downloads - 1.5 billion (35% of all downloads)

Websites offering illegal pornography - 100,000

Sexual solicitations of youth made in chat rooms - 89%

Worldwide visitors to pornographic websites - 72 million monthly 

Internet pornography sales - $4.9 billion

Largest consumer of Internet pornography - 35-49 age group

Statistics for children

Average age of first Internet exposure to pornography - 11 years old

8-16 year old viewing porn on-line - 90% (most while doing homework)

Children's character names linked to porn links - 26 (including Pokemon and action man)

Adult statistics

Men watching it at work - 20%

Women watching porn at work - 13%

US adults who regularly visit pornography sites - 40 million

Women accessing porn sites each month - 9.4 million

Now these statistics are quite shocking. You probably didn't realise how much pornography consumes society and is overtaking everything. What is more shocking is that these statistics are increasing each day with more and more content made each hour to be distributed and that children are accessing this at a younger age than ever before. What was once "adult content" is no longer with the age being as young as 9 when children become viewers. Is this the way that we want our society to go and become acceptable and for them to lose their innocence way before they are ready?

For more statistics, head to http://www.familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html

So you found your child watching porn.....

Its always hard to accept that your child is growing up so fast and having them leap forward into areas that they shouldn't be in (i.e. porn sites) is even harder to accept. So what should you do if you find out that your child has been checking out porn? 

1. Decide who’s going to bring it up. If you're married then see who is the more suitable parent to bring it up so that your child doesn't feel ganged up on. Yes they are going to feel defencive and embarrassed and really not want to talk about it but its a must. They need to know the hard facts and know what is going on. Trust me, its better coming from you then from Candy/Brandy/Sparkles/Vixen/Misty/Jasmin/Sugah/Raven/Roxy/Cinamon/Nikki/Isis or whoever it is and giving them all the wrong facts and ideas....

2. Explain how you know what they were doing. Yes they are going to feel spied on and maybe not trust you but you need to let them know its for their protection and have a deal with what is OK to check and what isn't. Internet browsing history, emails etc are usually OK but texts aren't always the best and feel completely violated. Let your child know in advance and explain to them why its not OK to look at porn and hopefully they wont feel like you have violated their privacy as much (even though you are in a way). 

3. Set some boundaries. You are the parent and you are supposed to be responsible. Now this also means that you shouldn't be off watching porn either because just as much as you can check up on what they are doing, they sure can check up on what you have been looking at too. Explain your expectations to them and why and the consequences for breaking them. 

Why oh why.....

So by now you might be a bit confused to why your child/partner/friend wants to go and check out what porn is. You might be a bit confused about this yourself too. In a way it is natural to be curious but curiosity isn't always a good thing.

Porn today is every where. We can't escape it. Its either on the Internet or we see it walking down the street or in many other ways. There are cultural references to porn every where and a lot of them we don't even notice. But some of it we do notice and especially people who don't know what it is i.e. your kids. They want to check out what porn in because they want to know what it is and what the big deal about it is. Now is some ways you could avoid this to an extent and sit down with them and have a chat (awkward I know) about it and why it isn't for them. Don't dilly dally around the topic either but give them the hard truth. Porn hurts society. Sex is not like that. Its not all enjoyable like it seems. Maybe this will help clear some questions up that they have and stop them from seeking out the answer from the wrong places.

They are probably just as confused about porn as you are sometimes and need examples of what things are in life so that they can understand. If you describe what a condom is, they will understand part of what it is but not all of it. However, if you show them what it is and let them touch it (a clean one please), then they will have a much better understanding about it. Ditto to porn and sex. They might hear about "oral sex" and how its when someone puts their mouth on a person's genitals for pleasure. How does it work? Why do people do this? What do you actually do once your mouth is on it? What next? But by going on-line and seeing someone perform the act, they can understand a lot more about it and will most likely have one of those light-bulb moments and say "Oh, I get it".

There's no denying that hormones can be a pain at any time in our lives but as a teenager with them raging in everyone, they become even more uncontrollable. Yes we probably like to avoid that topic and them while they are going through parts of this phase but it is biological development that has to happen. Their brain doesn't always think and they just follow their instincts on certain things..... this includes porn. They will go on-line to check out what it is and the different types and see what might turn them on. I know its a hard truth that you probably didn't want to hear about it but its there and out there for everyone to see. Teenagers are sexual beings and will just seek out what they need/desire. Its hard for us to admit it, but at one stage we may have even been like this (although we would probably deny it if our kids ever asked)


Just remember.... porn was made for adults, not adolescents. It was made for people that should be able to understand it and not be confused by it. Although we may not see it as being that harmful, it can be. Especially to those minds that just aren't ready for it yet and can't comprehend what is happening and just get even more con fused. So sit them down. Have a chat. Tell them the TRUTH!

Access this.....

The widespread availability of porn has become a bit concerning. Gone are the days when you had to go to an adult bookshop to find the material you desire, you can get it any where at any time and without the awkwardness of if someone you know saw you going into the shop. Sure there are still shops out there but they aren't used for what they used to be. Now its toys and equipment and outfits so that you can try and do what the porn stars are doing. classy huh?

Now I know some of you out there are glad about the new availability of porn and how you can get it anywhere without people seeing you (for the most part). But have a think about this..... if you can access it so quickly and easily, then everyone else can too. THIS MEANS YOUR CHILDREN TOO! Did you think about that while your opening up the next video to look at? If everyone can get to it, then that means everyone! Your kids, your parents, your boss at work and anyone else out there that you want to include in that group. That also means that there is a high possibility that your boss/someone in your family has/is watching the same porn as you. Yes that video your viewing on the side while reading this....... other people are watching too..... kinda gross huh? Now I think I have your attention....

 Now there's no denying that porn is way over the top and accessible everywhere, even when we don't want it to be (including those annoying pop ups and page redirects). But its the demand in the industry that has caused this to an extent. So next time you get annoyed at that pop up on your computer, just think: you are partially responsible for it being there and on everyone else's computer too. Your the one that wanted to watch something and now it just wants to keep giving you more and more to get you addicted like a drug. 

So should we do what china has done and gone to an extreme? Or do we need to regulate ourselves and be the responsible adults that we are supposed to be. I'll let you decide after reading this small bit about what china has done.......

"China has put a blanket ban on sites such as Flickr, Picasa Web, Tumblr, Vimeo, DailyMotion and You Tube in an attempt to stop the flow of pornography. Although this also blocks access to political content also and many domestic sites. In 2009 alone, more than 15,000 pornographic websites were shut down or blocked in China's war on porn  The following year China shut down some 60,000 porn sites and arrested almost 5,000 suspects in the process. "

Is this the way that we should go or is this too much of an extreme? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this and find a way to educate and protect without completely going overboard.

Porn World vs Real World

So, you think that everything you see in the pornography world is real and that's how it is in real life huh? 

WRONG!

So many things that you see in porn is just an illusion. After all, it is a film and not everything is always true. So here are some quick facts for you to get things straight and know what is really going on instead of what you think should happen.

Community meeting....

There will be a community meeting this week on Friday to help educate everyone on the danger of pornography and what they can do to help prevent children from accessing it and discuss the implications it has in society. This will be a place where you can voice your opinions with other parents and professionals and find out what you can do to help draw the line on pornography. I hope to see you all there and get our message of protection out there!

yes... Yes..... YES..... you have....

So if you're reading this right now, you have watched porn before. Now before you go and have a go at me saying that you would never do that you are a good person with morals etc..... just stop. Not everyone is perfect and neither is the Internet. Surely you have been redirected from a website you've been on before to a sex site or had pop ups advertising sex or "lonely girls" and the like? yes? see...... you have watched porn. Now it might not have been 100% by choice, but the sad fact is that each and every one of us has seen pornography before. Whether it be filmed, advertisements, websites, pop ups, or even you everyday advertising on the TV with a half naked person (yes that is classified as porn), we have all seen porn.

But is it right that we are exposed to it everyday without even realising? No, not really. But what are you going to do about it? Nothing. That's right. You're just going to sit there and do nothing and ignore it as it slowly gets worse and worse. What happens when its in the streets and everywhere and you can't ignore it... what then?

Now I did say that this is a blog for both parents and youths to be educated on porn and not me just going on about all the crap stuff that teenagers don't want to know about. So here's some stuff for you younger people out there.

You think porn is fun. You like the way that it looks and the people act and what they do in it. You think it would be awesome to work in the industry and it's OK to look at it everyday and get off on it. Well here's some things you probably haven't thought about. 

A LOT of teenagers (yes you) think that the sex  in porn is real sex and how it is in real life.

A LOT of teenagers think that women want to be treated that way or that its OK to treat women that way

A LOT of teenagers think that porn doesn't really cause any real harm to anyone

Well........ here's some hard truth for you.

Porn sex is not like real sex. Its rougher and doesn't happen how it looks. Girls don't like every position that a guy will put her in just so he can stick his P***S into every hole he can find and as far as it will go and that she will enjoy it. Women do not scream for hours on end like they do in porn about the pleasure. Its not like that. Sure they might get a bit of pleasure but not as much as you think they will like what you have seen. And calling them names like "dirty hoe" and making them look like children cos its more appealing? yeah that actually causes harm but I'll get back to that bit in a minute.

Women don't actually want to be treated like they are in everything you have seen. They don't want 3 guys shoving themselves into any hole they can find all at the same time and being tossed around like a play toy with no feelings We don't like being called dirty hoe/slut/bitch/etc and treated like shit nor do we enjoy doing everything that you want to cos you think it might be "fun". Fun for who though? You? Great so you get to enjoy it and we just have to lie there and take it? I think not. 

And as it goes for causing harm well it does actually cause a lot of harm, more than people realise. Not only do women feel objectified already but they are treated like crap and made to look like they actually enjoy it. We get hurt and don't want to do what you want to and then get called names when we object to something. Dressing us up like children also causes real harm as its just a doorway into child pornography. How would you like to see your younger brother/sister/cousin/nephew/niece/friend in those films against their will and not because they are an adult dressed as a child but an actual child. Its wrong and sick and beyond any words. 

And on the subject of harm.... what happens if someone has a health condition that they shouldn't be sharing around. I'm not talking about your common cold or anything. I'm talking about STD's/STI's and other conditions that are detrimental to your health. What if you contract one. What then?

So before you go off clicking on that site you were planning on for later today..... have a think about that. What is real and what isn't. Is it OK what they are doing or does it need to be stopped. What protection do these people have?

The youth affect.....

So.... you think porn is harmless? It's just some people that are having sex and being taped so that others can see. But is that really right to be looking at someone else's sex life and what they are doing and get off on it?

The answer is No. No its not right to watching someone else do "it" . Especially when what they are doing isn't really real. You really think that girls like to be treated that way and will do anything that the guy suggests and loves every moment of it? Are you kidding me? Do  you enjoy being treated like nothing and shoved around yet have to look like you are enjoying it and want more? No, you don't. 

But the fact is, many people believe that what they see in pornography is "real". Especially for younger viewers (which, lets face it, what are they doing watching porn anyway) who haven't experienced much or anything and think that what they see in porn is how sex is in real life and try to treat women like that. As part of this education campaign, we will try to visit different peoples stories and the effect of porn on them. In this part of our story, we meet Edward. Edward first discovered porn when he was 13-years-old at school. Every now and then his friends would come in with new videos and websites that they had dug up on-line the night before and share them around. Only a year earlier his contemporaries might have been swapping toys. Now they were trading porn.

"I started watching it more and more," the 19-year-old recalls. "It had a massive effect on the way I thought about sex and has been hugely detrimental to my perception of what a relationship is supposed to be like.

By the time he got together with his first girlfriend, three years later, he felt utterly confused. "It wasn't that I was expecting sex in real life to be like that in porn, or that women would be like those you see in the videos. But I had a very distorted view on relationships. Porn doesn't show a typical sexual encounter, its very distorted and not like it actually is"

But who exactly should be responsible for stopping children and teenagers from accessing porn. Should Internet service providers (ISP's) force customers to "opt-in" to unrestricted access, or should it be on the parents to keep an eye on what their children are up to on-line? 

The accessibility of porn has increased dramatically and can be gotten from anywhere at any time compared to when you could only get it at peep shows, black market videos or top shelf magazines.

 Our view is that its not just one persons responsibility to make sure that their kids aren't accessing it, but every ones responsibility. Not only should ISP's be responsible for tracking certain sites or blocking the content/banning it to begin with, parents should be filtering what their children view and talk to them about why they are doing it. They should also lead by example and not look at it themselves, or not when people are around and clear browsing history so that others can't see what you've been up to. And finally, its also the child's responsibility. They should not be looking up content that is not suitable for them and take responsibility for what they do and be educated to know what is real and what isn't. Lets face it, if they think they that they can get away with it, then what will happen in our society and how people are treated. Are you ready to turn around and just grin and bare it?

The Hard Reality Of Porn

Hello all and welcome to our blog for the reality about porn. Not only will we be exploring the myths, truths and hard facts about the industry, but also looking at what it does to society and kids. 

We will be answering questions and posting some ourselves on what do you think is acceptable and where should we draw a line. Hopefully this can help educate us on the differences between what is real and fake and what we need to do to protect ourselves from the some of the more daring parts and what shouldn't be freely available. 

So stay tuned for some new blogs coming soon and feel free to write us with your questions and we will answer you with the hard truth as much as we can....... until then, stay protected